Help Yourself First
by Just Fetching
Summary: Logan dumped his boyfriend four months ago! So, why can't he allow himself to love again? He's always trying to help the people at the nursing home and the library, but why can't he help himself. Maybe, Kendall Knight, the new kid can help him with his problem? Jagan. Eventual Kogan Slash. Give it a chance?
1. Chapter 1: A Horrible End

_Well, this is my first story ever. I have never written before. Please rate and review because I want to know if I should continue this. I have allready started on my second chapter._

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"I've been waiting,

I've been waiting for this moment all my life.

But's it not quite right."

- The Silversun Pickups

Logan Mitchell smiled as he waved to the librarians of the Los Angeles City Public Library. After eight busy hours, his volunteer shift had ended. Today's duties consisted of archiving magazines in the "Purple Room" and cleaning DVDs in the back office. Both jobs were extremely monotonous and may have seemed boring to any other person. However, Logan loved the mindless, yet content feeling he felt whenever he volunteered at the old brick building. It always took his mind off of whatever was bothering him; lately, that seemed to be a lot.

The corners of the raven's mouth curved upward into what looked like a smile. Though, upon closer examination, one would notice the dead look in the short boys chocolate eyes. Those eyes had the look of a dog that had been kicked too many times.

Logan had the tired, pained gaze of someone who had given up on life.

In truth, the boy had. Over the past few months, he had eaten less and ran more turning into a thin shadow of what he used to be. Logan's friends had been out of town most of the summer, so they couldn't see how unhealthy the pale boy was. He had planned for this summer to be the greatest of them all. It would be James and himself to take over L.A. Now, it was just him to fend for himself in the sad, gray haze of what could have been.

Today, Logan did have one thing to be happy about after all. As he walked into the warm, dry heat L.A., one thought plagued his mind.

_Today, he's leaving._

His ex-boyfriend had left for college today, and Logan couldn't be happier. Although he had cut off all contact between James Diamond and himself in late April, the hazel-eyed boy still tried to speak to his former lover and make an attempt to fix things for the past four months with the blind determination of a small child.

However, there would be no fixing because the spiky haired boy was done. Logan blocked his calls, deleted his texts, and slammed the door in the taller boy's face _every single time_ he popped up on the Mitchell's front porch. However, there was one time when James was able to squeeze by Logan's tough and newly developed exterior.

_Ring! Ring! _

"_Logan, you have got to answer that door, boy. I don't know what he did, but you _must_ talk to him. He has done this every day this week. And, I swear. I will go insane if he keeps on ringin' that damned doorbell. And, I'm pretty sure your mother will, too," pleaded Lewis Mitchell to his son over the incessant ringing as he wearily eyed the door._

"_But, Dad you don't understand what happened," Logan whined back, refusing to face the boy who broke his heart a month ago. "I can't talk to him." _

_He was tired of the athlete badgering him. James graduated from high school last month. He was about to go to _college_. Even if they had stayed together, it would have ended eventually. James's needed to understand that they were not getting back together, no matter how much both of them wanted to._

"_No! You cannot ignore 'ur problems," Mr. Mitchell said sternly. Then, he mumbled, "And, maybe I'd understan' if you'd tell me what's wrung."_

_Logan sighed in defeat as and muttered, "Fine," as he walked toward the door, anxiety growing every step. The younger Mitchell did not want to argue. His father's Texan accent was starting to thicken, a sure sign that the older man was getting agitated._

_As the younger Mitchell got closer to the door, he felt a knot twisting in his chest out of frustration, heartbreak, and possibly even hunger. Logan couldn't tell the difference anymore._

"_Logan, please!" his father begged from the kitchen._

_The pale nerd sped up, realizing he had slowed to a saunter, dreading whatever was to come._

_Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! When Logan opened the door, the hazel-eyed boy paused, mid-push with his finger on the doorbell. Logan could hear his father sigh, followed by a mutter of praise from inside the house at the newfound silence._

_Tired and desperate hazel eyes bored into equally frustrated dark brown ones until Logan looked away. He took a deep breath in an attempt to still his frantically beating heart and stop the already tight knot in his chest from constricting even more while he shut the door behind him. One look at James was all it took to release the feelings Logan had and still tried to suppress for the tall boy that now stood before him. Yet, Logan's face showed no sign of his deeply conflicted emotions._

_Brown eyes lingered again on the taller boy, as a new knot of concern and worry worked its way into the pit Logan's stomach. James looked horrible. The tan glow he once had was replaced by a dull dark beige complexion. There was also the fact that the boy looked very, very thin. Logan could see that his build was still lean under the t-shirt and jean shorts he wore, hiding a lightly toned shape. But, it still looked different from the bulky and muscular physique that Logan was used to caressing. _

_What was most saddening to Logan was that the previous twinkle in James's hazel eyes was gone, almost as if the light went out with their relationship. Apparently, Logan was not the only one who was taking the break up hard. _

_Despite it all, Logan still could not help but think James looked absolutely beautiful. It took everything he had to keep himself from reaching out to the person who had plagued his fantasies and nightmares, every night for the past month._

_With a sharp inhale, the knot of sympathy the nerd had for James loosened when Logan reminded himself why the couple broke up. The once golden boy had brought it upon himself. Then, a small grin of triumph pursed Logan's lips at the athlete's current state current of agony. Now, James knew how it felt. Logan hardened his gaze as he spoke._

"_W-what do you want, James?" Logan said harshly, despite the wavering in his voice. The tall boy didn't answer. He just stared at his ex-boyfriend with a look of pure longing almost as if the nerd would disappear if he even tried to look away. Logan grew nervous under his James stare, but continued, silently willing his cheeks to stop reddening._

_The brunette sighed and pleaded desperately the same scripted spiel he usually gave James, "I told you that we are over. I do not want to speak to you ever again. What we had was great but it was unheal– "_

"_I know, I know. Sorry," the athlete said suddenly, breaking from his previous trance. His eyes grew glassier with each word. "I just came to tell you one last thing and then I will leave you alone."_

_The brunette's cold expression did not change nor did he speak._

"_I got into Colombia for Biomedical Engineering," James continued. "I leave for New York in August to settle in. I just want to tell you that I am sorry for what I did to us and tell you goodbye."_

_James's words hit Logan like a slap in the face. It took everything Logan had to keep his neutral expression with the emotions that were threatening to knock him over. Most of them were hard to make out due to the shit storm that was going on inside his head, but two were easy to decipher. One was the deep love Logan was trying to get rid of. _

_The other was sadness. It wasn't any specific type, just a powerful California wave that encompassed his body with grief, lifting and carrying across the ocean. Then, it would sit him back down just so Logan could be overcome by another wave of sorrow. The short boy wondered if he would ever heal._

_Suddenly, a feeling of heat knocked Logan out of his thoughts._

_The tall boy hugged Logan, before he could even react. Despite James's loss of weight, it felt just as warm and safe as Logan remembered. The athlete held on to the nerd for a few seconds in his muscular arms that had shot many goals and thrown even more passes for the school's hockey and football team._

_Logan, frozen still from shock, felt something wet on his shoulder, and then, the warmth was gone. Their eyes met one last time as they pulled away. James placed a small kiss on the nerd's forehead. Then, he turned around and walked down the Mitchell residency's steps. When James's foot hit the ground, he looked at his former lover one last time_

"_Goodbye Logan. I love you and I will miss you," he choked out through the tears as sobs now escaped his plump lips. "I'm sorry."_

_And, then James ran away, a tannish mass of copper hair fading down the street, leaving behind Logan who stood stoically on the porch._

_With a deep breath, Logan opened the door and stepped inside. He walked through the kitchen, ignoring the curious glances of his father and mother, who must have walked in while he was outside. Then, as soon as he was out of sight, he ran through the house, up the stairs, and into his room, forgetting about his half eaten lunch. After he made sure the door was locked, Logan cried and screamed for the rest of the afternoon, wishing James had just stayed home._

Logan had turned his phone on since he had to cut it off at work in the library. He only had to silence it, but his phone was a peace of crap that froze almost all the time. It was never truly on silence or vibrate, and tended to just ring whenever it felt like it. What Logan loved most about the piece of weathered metal was that it called random people from his contacts. When James and Logan were together, this feature was almost appreciated because nerd would get an excuse to call the athlete. Now, it was just annoying. After three misdials to a falsely hopeful James, Logan got the motivation to delete James's number from his phone. He still remembered it though (just in case, he always told himself).

After what felt like forever, blue light blanketed Logan's hand as the phone turned on. He had a voicemail. It was probably from best friend, Camille, telling him how great Florida was. She was on a trip to Disney World. Her extended family was from the East Coast and they always had a big reunion at the amusement park every five years. Camille once tried to get them to come to Disney Land so she would not have to leave Logan, but they would not budge with tradition.

"_You have one new voicemail,_" said the standard electronic voice that always gave Logan the creeps. Logan smiled at the thought of hearing his friend's comforting voice. It had been a week and he had not talked to her. Then, the voicemail played.

Logan's smile faded as soon as soon the person on the other line spoke.

"_Hey, Logie,_" said the voice that still made him swoon, as it came through the cool metal of the mobile device.

"Oh, I'm not supposed to call you that. _This is James. I left this morning on a six hour flight to New York. Now, I'm here at Colombia. I know you don't want to talk to me, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm staying in an apartment near the engineering campus. I sent you an e-mail with the information from my new Colombia e-mail since you blocked my old one." _The boy on the phone nervously laughed before he continued.

"_Logan, I really miss you. I miss what we had, but I would rather have you as my friend than nothing at all because the past few months have been hell for me. You can visit me whenever you want, and I can give you a tour of New York. I will not call you anymore. Please call me. I miss you so much and I wish you a world of happiness. Bye, Logan. I lo -. Hopefully, I will see you soon."_

_Click. _The message ended.

"_Do you want to repl-_," said the electronic voice. _Beep._

"_Message deleted._" From months of practice, Logan knew which button to press to delete a message. After taking a deep breath, Logan looked around noticing that he was still in his car, sitting in the library parking lot.

Then, he looked at his right hand. It was a deep crimson as he gripped the phone. Then, he threw the now warm, sweaty piece of metal in the passenger seat, hissing at the feel of the muscles in his hands unclenching. In his hand was an even redder mark on his tender flesh where the phone had been.

The spiky-haired teen sat there in a haze of his thoughts, letting his emotions build until the floodgates opened. Thick tears streamed down his pale cheeks and strange, almost inhuman noises erupted from his throat. He knew he should not have listened to that message as soon as he recognized the silky voice on the other end. But he did.

Logan had built his wall up high over the past few months. And, just like he had on his doorstep, James had destroyed it with his voice alone, leaving Logan distraught and defenseless. All the repressed memories of the couple came back to Logan. He remembered the happier times of cuddling on the couch along with the painful ones Logan would rather not think about. Everything rushed at him, attacking him from all sides. No matter how hard Logan tried to put his wall back up, it would not rebuild itself.

So he just sat there and cried for a few minutes until the siege had turned into a half-hearted assault on his emotions. Eventually, he drove off, wet tears drying on his cheeks, still caught under the pelting of regret, longing, betrayal, and yet still love.

When Logan arrived home, he went upstairs and went to sleep. Before, he usually stayed up and stared at the ceiling when he went to bed, enjoying the silence as he became engrossed in his thoughts about his life in general. Now, Logan could only close his eyes, and will himself to sleep without thinking of James. If the hazel-eyed boy did cross his mind, Logan would cry until he collapsed into an exhausted heap on the pillows.

When Logan wasn't crying, he was touching himself. The sexual frustration usually stemmed from an amorous dream or passionate memory. Either way, the pale boy always ended up with a large lump protruding from his lower abdomen. Sometimes, Logan would ignore it, suffering in silence and frustration as he willed his pants to loosen. Most times though, he rode the wave of false bliss his climax put him in, a whisper of "James" on his lips.

Indeed, it had been a long four months.

Tonight, Logan did not have time to cry or masturbate. He was so tired that he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Logan favored these nights the most. At these times, he would finally receive the heavy and dreamless slumber that he craved.

Today should have been one of the happiest days of Logan's summer. However, like most things that seemed to involve James over the past few months, it only ended in tears and heartbreak.

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Thanks for reading. Rate and Reviw?


	2. Chapter 2: A Not So Perfect Morning

Help Yourself First: Chapter 2

"Well you got what you want

What you never knew.

A perfect gift from me to you."

Foster the People

Logan woke up from his peaceful coma to a door slamming. He figured it must have been his mother in one of her moods again. Even though she had just entered her forties, Mrs. Mitchell was going through menopause. This meant Joanna Mitchell had to torture her family and anyone else who had the misfortune of being in her presence with her hot flashes, night sweats, and Logan's favorite, mood swings. Times like these made Logan extremely happy he wasn't a girl.

Loud yelling travelled down the hall to Logan's room as the pale boy got ready to go on his morning run. Most likely, it was Joanna yelling at her husband Austin over the phone. The man of the Mitchell household was in even higher demand than his wife as a civil engineer. He was always away on business, to his family's dismay.

Lately, Logan had been seeing his father less and less. It most likely had to do with his mother's newfound irritability. Unfortunately, Mrs. Mitchell loved to call her husband, when he wasn't there to yell at in person. The poor man was constantly being harped on to fix the creaky door and repaint the kitchen. This was really just Joanna's crazy way of saying she missed her husband, by giving him reasons why he should come home.

Logan thought it was a wonderful advantage. As much as Logan loved his mother, he sometimes wished he could mute the woman or just hang up. It's not like the pale boy would do it anyway. He was raised to respect women, especially his mother. However, it would be nice just to have the option.

Plus, Logan's mother only badgered him about cleaning his car, eating more, and putting the toilet seat down in his _own_ bathroom. When she couldn't find anything else to complain about, she would ask why Logan wasn't happy. As usual, Logan cleverly evaded the subject. His mother only cared, but he did not want to give her another reason to be upset.

The older Mitchell's did not know of their son's sexual orientation. When Logan was in the seventh grade, he began to have feelings for boys along with the profuse sweating and wet dreams that came with puberty. Camille was the person who helped her pale friend come to terms with his sexuality when she caught him staring at boys more than girls. Eventually, they told their other friend, Dak. Logan was extremely thankful to have friends that accepted and supported him.

When the trio went to high school, Logan wasn't obvious about his sexuality. He wasn't trying to hide it. He just didn't point out how cute the soccer captain's ass looked in his uniform. If a person asked _politely _if the nerd was gay, Logan would simply say yes and keep on moving. Honestly, the pale boy thought it was no one's business.

In school, Logan excelled at everything he did. One could say he was the 'cool nerd'. He was at the top of class and student council president. Yet, he still had a decent amount of friends. People loved him for his honesty, and the fact that he was one of the few drama free people in the school. If only they knew the secrets that lied behind that pretty porcelain face. Logan had his secrets. He was just better at hiding the secret meetings, occasional limp in his step, and perpetual longing for his love more than most.

James was always better at it, though.

As Logan walked downstairs, he contemplated breakfast. Unfortunately, he woke up late due to exhaustion from the prior mental breakdown in the car. Therefore, he had just enough time to run for an hour and dress himself so he could volunteer at the library all day, again. Usually, he would wake up about an hour earlier so he could eat breakfast, and then go running a half hour later.

It wasn't good to go running on a full or empty stomach. So, Logan had to time his meals just right so he wouldn't overwork his body or throw up while he ran. Since Logan was only running for an hour, it was okay to eat afterwards.

Next, Logan, clad in a t-shirt and basketball shorts, needed to get BamBam ready. Right on cue, the dog came into Logan's room, pink tongue hanging out of his mouth and tail wagging behind him. Then, he wiggled as its owner put the harness on him, desperately trying to turn it into a belly rub.

The Mitchell family adopted the puppy five years ago with hopes of making twelve-year-old Logan less antisocial. Since then, the two had been inseparable.

Honestly, no one, including the vet was quite sure what kind of dog BamBam was. He had a bit of pit bull mixed in, which gave him such a short, yet, incredibly muscular build. Also, he had a rich golden coat that belonged to a Labrador. There were also a couple of other breeds mixed in.

After everything that happened, BamBam was the only thing that could still get the nerd to smile. One look into those dark brown eyes, and Logan forgot about his problems. BamBam's company was almost therapeutic.

Finally, the two Mitchells walked outside. Logan began to stretch while BamBam chased squirrels in the yard.

Before, James and his dog, Fox, would go running with them. Now, it was just Logan and BamBam. Again, Logan was almost knocked over by a wave of sorrow.

At this point, Logan didn't care about injuring himself. He needed to run. So, the stretching was abandoned, and a whistle erupted from Logan's lips. At the shrill noise, BamBam came running at his owner with the leather leash dragging behind him.

Slowly, Logan jogged out of his driveway. Even though, he wanted to start out fast, he did not want to actually pull something. His mind started to drift as his muscles warmed.

When Logan ran with James, it was one of the few times the two spent as a couple outside of their rooms. These were the moments Logan loved the most. Just the two of them talking and laughing in their own little world, guarded by the haze of sleep everyone else was in.

James and Logan didn't always feel like running, but their circadian clocks would not let them go back to sleep. So, they would take over Logan's kitchen and cook breakfast for the Mitchell family. Austin and Joanna were always happy to see James.

The secret couple tried cooking for the Diamonds once, but it was hard to enjoy breakfast with James's parents hammering Logan with questions when they weren't arguing between themselves. No one should have to endure that, any time of day. That was probably why James's was never at home when _both_ of his parents were.

Being the excellent students, the nerd and athlete were always busy. It always hard for the two to find time to be intimate, but, sometimes, it was extremely difficult. So, Logan and James, being teenage boys, would occasionally start their day off with sex in James's car (Logan refused to get his dirty).

Strangely, what bothered Logan wasn't having sex in James's car. He was used to that. What bothered him was that he had to endure the day walking around with a limp. James's was usually desperate at those times. Therefore, the sex was rough and even more rushed than usual.

When, Logan got back home to get dressed, his parents would tell him that he "must have run really hard". If only, they knew.

A bark from BamBam startled Logan out of his thoughts, and the pale boy noticed that he was running surprisingly fast. He would have to have an ice bath after his run.

Logan looked at the thing that excited his normally quiet dog, and then cursed under his breath. Down the street, was Brooke Diamond, CEO of Diamond Cosmetics, walking with Fox, who was happily barking to his estranged friend.

Brooke was clad in a designer sweat suit, along with the usual jewelry. Logan wondered how someone could put so much effort into going for a walk in the morning when everyone was sleeping.

The woman was like an old antique doll. No matter how gorgeously painted her face was, she would always appear flawed. Her smile was never genuine, but forced. Her eyes were cold as if some unknown force were sucking the life of her. No matter how much makeup and Botox the women underwent, she would always be a hollow shell, cracking along with her marriage.

Any average person would be able to believe the façade known as the Diamonds, but Logan knew them better than that. All he had to do was look at James. The tanned teen acted just as fake as his mother when around the football or hockey team. James was always the star of the show, but it always looked as though all he wanted was to fade into the background.

This fleeting look was the most prominent on the night of the party. It was the only party that Logan ever went to in his high school career. And, that was only because James was going with _him._ Not Camille or Lucy or Amanda, but him. Logan or "that nerdy little kid" as Jett liked to call him.

It didn't matter to Logan that it interrupted their romantic weekend. It didn't matter that James's reputation was more important than celebrating their belated six-month anniversary (James's parents were out of town). It didn't matter that the dinner Logan had prepared at James's house was getting cold. None of it mattered. All Logan wanted was to spend time with James.

"Logan?" asked Brooke, in a sickeningly sweet voice, laced with concern.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Diamond," the dark-haired boy said, snapping out of his thoughts.

"I'm just a little dizzy. It's been a while since I last ate."

Brooke nodded her head in understanding. Logan took that as a sign that she bought his weak lie.

Then, Brooke's icy blue gaze locked with Logan's, and the boy panicked inside. He knew that look. That was the look James's always gave him when he had to ditch him on a date, followed by a look of sympathy.

She wanted something. Whatever it was, Logan knew he should try to leave.

"Well, I have to go volunteer at the library this in an hour. Plus, I have to go shower and get dressed, too. Sorry, but I have to leave Mrs. Diamond. Have a nice d-."

"Stay," she interrupted right as Logan turned around to leave.

"Come again, Ma'am," I asked, confused and slightly scared.

"You have plenty of time. My son used to give you a lot less time to get ready when you two spent those mornings in his car," she said, smirking.

Logan turned cherry red at the woman's words.

"Oh, you thought I didn't know? One day, I came home from business to hear you screaming his name," she stated. Her tone wasn't disgusted. It was just factual.

The pale boy just stood there with his mouth hanging wide open, wondering if it was possible for his face to turn any redder.

Finally, he willed himself to speak.

"D-did James know?"

Mrs. Mitchell smiled. It was the kind of false grin that a person would give to humor a small, naive child that had said something silly.

"Of course I told him, Logan. He was actually quite happy that I knew at first."

"Then, why didn't he tell me?" Logan asked, feeling hurt all of sudden that he didn't know this vital piece of information.

"Again, he was happy at first. I told him that it was okay to be gay, but he could not come out at school or anywhere else. I did not want it to affect his college acceptance or get him kicked off of the hockey team."

At these words, Logan's blood began to boil.

"How could you tell your own son that? Didn't you want him to be happy at all? Do you know how many times he would cry because he couldn't come out? You are a horrible mother," he yelled. His anger and sadness for James was forgotten. All he felt was sympathy that his former lover had to deal with this awful woman that was supposed to be his mother.

A mother was supposed to support her child and stand by them. Brooke cut James down more. She was just digging his hole deeper.

Brooke took a breath before she spoke, "I was just trying to protect his future."

"Whatever Brooke. You're just a heartless bitch, and I'm glad that James is in New York, far away from you. I hope you said a proper goodbye when he left. It just may have been the last time you see him," he spat, disgusted at the woman's poor excuse.

The businesswoman stood there, shocked at the pale boys words. Logan, himself, was shocked. Never had he spoken to anyone that way, especially a woman, but Brooke deserved it. She put James through so much pain. Maybe, he and James's relationship could have survived without that mother-son talk.

Either way, it was too late now. James was on the other side of the country. They were over.

Then, Logan ran.

Once again, his mind couldn't help but linger on James as he started to cry. He almost felt a new love for James at the discovery of this newfound information.

In an instant, it all disappeared as quickly as it came. What James did was wrong, and there was no way Logan would ever forgive him. The pale boy needed to get over his ex. This breakup was destroying him.

Things were harder said than done, though. He still couldn't help but cry. His feelings were so conflicted.

Despite the burning in his legs, Logan kept on running. Each step, he tried to release as much frustration as possible. Finally, Logan rounded the last corner and sprinted to his house for the last few minutes.

Loud yells were seeping through the walls of the house, as he walked toward the door. That's when Logan noticed the extra car parked in the driveway beside his own car, along with his mother's.

Mr. Mitchell was home.

Logan's father had left earlier in the week and said he would be gone for five days to investigate some problems with a project in another state. However, it has only been three days. Logan wasn't sure why his father was home. Austin Mitchell was one of the most successful people in his field. There is no way he was fired. He probably just finished early.

No matter what the reason, Logan was going to find out later. He did not want to be in his mother's line of fire. Right now, Mr. Mitchell was in her radius, and that was okay with the pale boy. It may have been wrong to use his father as a decoy, but Logan was running late, and he did not have time to deal with Joanna. So, his father could take it for now. Logan would say hi to him later.

Slowly, the dark-haired boy opened up the front door with his key, sweat dripping down his face and hair plastered to his forehead. He tried to make it to the stairs as silently as possible in order to be hidden by his yelling parents.

It was easy to cut through the kitchen and sneak past his parents. Then, like in every teenage movie Logan had ever seen, the steps gave him away. He had been living in this house for seventeen years. It was a bit old. As soon as his foot grazed the third step, a large creak erupted into the air.

All was silent.

Logan sighed, knowing he was caught, "Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. I would love to talk to you right now, but I need to take an ice bath."

The elder Mitchells walked into the room with cheeks reddened from their arguing.

"But, Logan, you haven't eaten breakfast. And have you been crying," protested Mrs. Mitchell, concerned with worry.

"I know, mom. I will eat in the car," Logan said completely ignoring his mother's other question.

Then, he ran upstairs before they could even respond and got ready. Throughout all of it, the prior events of the morning kept replaying in his mind.

Finally, he walked downstairs, grabbed an apple, and drove. As he left, he prayed his day would go better than yesterday.

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I know it's moving slow, but it will pick up. Logan meets Kendall in the next chapter. I wanted to make this chapter longer, but it's coming along slower than I thought. I don't like the way this turned out.

Review please? Thank you for reading.


	3. Chapter 3 First Impressions

Well, this took forever. I don't particularyly like it because I think it's boring. Tell me what you think or any ideas you may have. They are always appreciated.

Sorry, I know I said it would be longer, but it's not. Sorry.

Oh, and thank you for all the Reviews and Follows:

Ieer, Leviosa0812, luvkooks, klolo8, Darth Sethback, jsilg18, gleechild, and Scarlett

1. I'm not doing the song lyrics anymore. I obsess and it takes more time than it should.

2. I forgot to put a disclaimer at the beginning of the story.

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything you may recognize.**

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Logan was surprisingly calm on the ten minute drive to the library. The radio was on the whole car ride, letting the obnoxious pop music take his mind off the morning's previous events. The boy sat there in the parking lot of the public building for a few minutes assessing himself just to make sure he was going to be okay.

He still couldn't believe it. Not only, had James left for New York yesterday, but his mother accosted him the following morning.

Surprisingly, he felt better.

Although Logan refused to admit it aloud, he was happy that Brooke relayed the information. It showed that he and James would have never really worked out. The tanned was too caught up in image. He was under too much pressure from his parents to be perfect. They would have broken up eventually just on less devastating circumstances.

A sigh escaped Logan's lips at the thought. With it, whirlwind of emotions in his head calmed. Out of all the people, Logan didn't think that Brooke Diamond would give him closure.

The woman had given Logan an outlet to direct his frustration. Just like that it was gone. Best of all, Logan did not feel that guilty about it because –in all honesty- the woman was a bitch.

Now that he thought about it, he didn't find out what Brooke really wanted during their little chat. He didn't care either. He would never talk to that woman, again if he didn't have to.

At that moment, Logan Mitchell decided that he would try a little harder to get over James Diamond.

So, the pale boy finally got out of the car after he got his cardigan out of the passenger seat, walked toward the swinging doors of the library's, admiring the colorful flowers bordering the sidewalk.

The library had always been one of Logan's favorite places to go. When he was old enough to walk, his mother began taking to "Story Time". Eventually, he learned how to read on his own and started to pick out his own books. In middle school, Logan was teased a lot because of his willingness to read and learn. That was, until he met Camille.

At the age of fourteen, the dark-haired boy began to volunteer at the library during the summer. Three years later, and he was now a year-round volunteer.

Logan knew everything about the Los Angeles City Public Library. He knew which was the fastest way to get to the top floor (employee elevators), and the bottom floor (stairs). He knew which children where good, and which to watch out for. He knew which patrons liked the comics, and always unlocked the "Red Room" whenever he saw one. He knew almost all the computer codes for the catalog, and how to unload, separate, and stock shipping by himself. If it weren't for the purple volunteer name tag he was required to wear, a person could easily think that Logan as an employee.

The pale boy walked through the door to his safe and very cool haven, slightly cautious as he let the scent of books hit his nose. His morning had already been eventful, and it was only nine o'clock. Therefore, he was weary of everyone.

The library had just opened, and -lucky for him- there were no patrons except a few people dropping off returns on the first floor. Logan smiled and greeted them as he walked to the very back of the library.

Instantly, Logan was overwhelmed by a flurry of good mornings from the librarians seated at their desks. There are a lot more people working in a library than people think. There are those that work at the front desk, and the others that work behind the scenes. In the "office", some people are ordering books, doing inventory, budgeting, planning for next year, sending shipments and a bunch of other things. It always amazed him how much work had to put into running the library smoothly.

Then, Logan grabbed his volunteer badge and headed to the nonfiction section on the second floor. Ms. Jeannie was in charge of nonfiction and the volunteers, including Logan. She usually had a list of tasks for volunteers to do. It was usually things that the no one else had time for.

As Logan stepped out of the back employee elevator, he waved to his taskperson. The woman was busy talking to some early patrons, so she gave Logan a brief wave along with a sheet of paper ad a pen. The pale boy, who was used to this kind of early morning greeting, returned with a nod as he grabbed the his daily lists of tasks and a pen.

On the list were three tasks, all in the non-fiction section. They would definitely hold him over until one, when he ate lunch. Like always, Logan began his task with a smile, even when he felt like doing anything but.

* * *

Kendall Knight was incredibly hot as he sat on his bed clad in boxers and a wife-beater. He didn't mean that he was attractive, although he would shyly admit he was. No, he was referring to the warmness that caused sweat to pool on his skin, making his bangs stick to his forehead. He was talking about the sweltering fiend of the weather variety that made unpacking moving the moving boxes that surrounded the Knight – wait, it was Anders now- home much more exhausting than usual. It could only be known as the weather of Los Angeles.

This was home. Hot, glamorous L.A. Cold, boring Minnesota was gone. Never would Kendall see Joe, his ex-girlfriend and best friend, or snow, unless it was on TV, or any of his other friends. Everything that mattered was in Minnesota.

The only good thing was that he could focus on his dream now. Kendall Knight wanted to be famous. He wanted to be the next Brad Pitt or Justin Timberlake. In Minnesota, it was just a silly unattainable fantasy. Now that he was in California, it was an actual reality.

However, it would all have to wait until the heat was fixed.

"Why do you have that goofy smile on your face, big brother?" asked Katie, his ten-year-old sister. She had walked into the room, a sheen of sweat coating the young girl's face.

Immediately, the smile was knocked off of the lanky boy's face right before he casually said, "Nothing little sister."

"Whatever, big brother. I'm just happy to see you smiling," the little girl sighed.

At that moment, Kendall's smile grew even wider. It was true. Ever since the divorce, the tall teen had seemed down, and the move hadn't helped his mood. Then, he looked up at his little sister.

He noticed that she was fully dressed instead of in the track shorts and t-shirt she usually wore around the house. The girl was still standing in front of her brother, eyes cast down. Finally, she looked up hopefully at Kendall.

"Yesterday, when Mom and I were driving to the grocery store, we passed a library. They should have air conditioning. Maybe, we could hang out there until the ours is fixed," she asked.

The older Knight frowned slightly at his sister's request. Then, he looked down and into the large brown eyes and he decided to go. He wasn't the reading type, but that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy the library's free air conditioning. Plus, he didn't have to read. Kendall grabbed his song book and monologues. It was too hot to write or practice, but he always kept them nearby anyway just in case.

The lanky blonde bolted out of his bedroom and ran down the stairs. His hand was grazing the doorknob of the front door until he was stopped by a feminine shout.

Katie was standing at the top of the stairs, grinning, "Big brother, you may want to take a bath because you reek. Then, you can also put on some clothes."

Kendall looked down at himself and then jumped away from the door blushing before he turned around and ran up the stairs past Katie, who was laughing hysterically. He couldn't believe healmost walked out of the house wearing a wife beater and boxers.

After a quick shower, Kendall changed into some more appropriate clothes. He walked downstairs to see that Katie had changed too. The Knight siblings then made their way out of the house.

As soon as the sun hit them, Kendall envied Katie in her jean skirt. Sweat was already beginning to pool in the tall teen's skinny jeans. He made a note to himself to take him and Katie shopping later for some clothes along with school supplies. He could use Dad's credit card.

Finally, the two Knights got into Kendall's old mustang. As the car began, a collective sigh was released when the cool air rushed through the windows. Katie began to give him the directions.

The drive to the library was only ten minutes, and before Kendall knew it, the air was gone and they were getting out of the car. They approached the big brick building. Then, they stepped inside the doors or tried to.

A very large bald man in uniform stopped them before they got a foot into the door. Kendall cursed under his breath. They were so close to the air conditioning, they could feel the cold wind licking their faces. But, it still wasn't enough.

The security guard cleared his throat before yelling, "Excuse me, but I need to see your library cards. If not then leave!"

"We don't have library cards, but I would be able to get one if you would move," Katie said eying the man that was considerably larger than her with her hands on her hips while Kendall eagerly looked on into the cool heaven known as the Los Angeles City Public Library.

The man huffed and let the two siblings through muttering something about children getting ruder.

Slowly, the Katie and Kendall walked in and were immediately overwhelmed not only by the rush of cold air, but the size of the place. Kendall had only been to the library in Minnesota once, but he was pretty sure that it wasn't anywhere near as big as the one in L.A.

Otherwise, the library was pretty standard. White walls, beige carpet, books everywhere.

An African-American woman walked by pushing a cart of books. She stopped and turned to Katie and Kendall.

"I heard you say to Gustavo-," she started to say.

"That is Officer Rocque, Kelly," the rude police officer yelled.

The African- American woman, Kelly, rolled her eyes and continued.

"I heard you all say to _Officer Rocque _that you don't have library cards?" she asked, looking at the guard when she said his name..

The two nodded.

"Well, you all can get one at the front desk right over there," she motioned to a desk not too far from the doorway with a graying woman sitting at it. "I'm guessing you all are new in town."

Kendall smiled, happy that someone was nice in the library, "Yes, we're from Minnesota."

"Well, welcome to Los Angeles. I'm Kelly Wainwright-call me Ms. Kelly- and I work in the children's section over there," she said pointing again to a doorway on the side of the room with 'KID'S CORNER' painted above in big red letters. "It was nice to meet you and come to me if you have any questions."

Kendall and Katie smiled and waved goodbye as Kelly started to walk to the children's section.

Then, they walked to the front desk and got there library cards. Kendall was lucky that Katie had already remembered their new address and home phone number. The lady at the desk told them to wait an hour and there cards would be ready.

The two looked at each other and decided to split up. Katie would go to the children's section on the first floor, and Kendall would go to the second floor where he learned the non-fiction and study carrels were.

He took the elevator up and looked around for a book on hockey or maybe a collection of monologues. He walked up and down the aisles looking for the letter 'H'. Then, he hung his head in frustration when he remembered that everything was listed by number.

One reason why Kendall hated going to the library was the Dewey decimal system. Why couldn't everything be sorted by authors' last names like the fiction section? Nonfiction did not need its own special kind of listing. He didn't understand why a topic had to be put in its own number category. Mostly, Kendall hated this organization method because it made him do something he hated. It made him have to ask for help.

So, that's what he did. He walked around, with a frustrated frown on his face, looking for someone that looked as if they could be of service to him. His frown softened into one of amusement, when he saw a short brunette boy about his age, reaching for a book on a high shelf. The boy had dark hair, pale skin, and pink lips set in a plump pout of determination as he tried to get the book. Kendall couldn't help but think he was cute even if he could only see his profile.

As Kendall got closer to the boy, a feeling of nervousness and something else he didn't quite recognize overcame him. He began to sweat, despite the cool air blowing through the library, and his heart felt as though it would burst out of his chest. Kendall had kissed a few boys from other schools in Minnesota. He even went on a date with a boy once, but never had he actually asked out a guy in public, where everyone could see. This was all new to him.

What if this boy rejected him? Was he even gay? With a quick sigh, he took a deep breath and tried to push all the thoughts out of his mind.

He had to ask a guy out eventually. The nonfiction section was empty. If he was rejected, no one would see. Plus, he was Kendall Knight. Girls swooned over him. This boy could not possibly reject him.

Kendall approached the short brunette, with a new confident air in his step, and stood beside the short brunette who was still reaching for the book. Effortlessly, the taller reached up and picked the book up off the shelf. The pale boy jumped in surprise, and then looked back at him.

"Thanks, I forgot a stool this time, " the boy smiled as he looked up at Kendall. The taller boy took a moment to stare into the brown eyes, getting lost for a moment. The shorter boy cleared his throat, breaking Kendall out of his chance.

The tall teen took a moment to scold him for acting like such a creep, and composed himself as best as he could, willing his cheeks to stop reddening.

"Hi, I'm Kendall and I'm new here. I was just wondering if you wanted to go out and get some lunch or dinner, if you already ate," Kendall said, smiling confidently, despite the bright blush on his cheeks.

The pale boy looked up at him surprised by Kendall's frankness. He didn't beat around the bush or offer some pick up line or make a short joke. He just blatantly asked him out.

The pale boy sighed, "Hi, Kendall. You seem really great, but I just got out of a relationship and I'm not ready to date. Sorry."

The older Knight sibling let out his own deflated sigh. His shoulders slumped as he mumbled, "Its fine, I wasn't sure if you were gay to be honest. I wasn't really expecting a yes."

It was a lie, but other boy didn't know that. To make his lie more believable, Kendall gave the short teen what he thought was one of his most dazzling smiles before he turned on his heel and walked away to search for Katie.

He was more than ready to leave the library.

* * *

Logan felt awful when he got home. At the library, a boy asked him out. Before, he could reject a person easily, because he was happy in a relationship with James. Now that he was Jamesless, he felt as if there was no reason for him to reject a guy. Especially a guy that was so cute.

The guy's name was Kendall, he remembered. Apparently, he had just moved here. He had blonde hair and the most beautiful green eyes Logan had ever seen Logan couldn't help but think as he lied on his bed. Plus, he asked out a person he didn't even know in a brand new town. It was so brave.

Logan could never do that, with or without James.

That night the pale boy slept well, again. Only this time, it wasn't due to tiredness. Logan was just thinking too much and fell asleep on his bed. It had been an eventful couple of days. James left, Brooke was rude, again, and a cute guy asked him out just so he could reject him.

The funny thing was that it didn't make Logan feel any particular emotion. He just thought about what he needed to next.

Right now, it was move on so that he could gladly accept the next date a cute guy offered him.

* * *

Thank you for reading. Reviews and suggestions are always welcome.


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